About Us

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Deborah: I'm a published author of the Kate Carpenter Mysteries. I write, and I teach workshops and classes. I have lost 140 pounds! Arlene: I'm a PhD psychologist, working with chronic pain patients. I have lost 40 pounds. Kelly: I'm a registered dietitian who works hard to maintain my weight and fitness level with healthy diet and lots of exercise.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

What do you do when it's all falling apart?

Deborah says: I lost weight by doing a lot of things, becoming more active, eating differently, changing how I think, changing my behaviours – basically changing my entire lifestyle. And I have maintained and continued that weight loss through setting up some very carefully planned routines, keeping my freezer full of healthy meals and having a well developed back up plan for unexpected get-togethers and after work restaurant gatherings. Works like a charm. And then something happens, something so out of your control, and so devastating, that it throws your entire life off track. And something that – did I say it already, well it bears repeating – is out of your control. Control is my word of the day. When I’m in control, well things just work. I know what I need to do. I know what I need to eat. I know how to be active and keep busy and maintain this new lifestyle. But basically, right now, I’m living in about a ten square foot area with barely a kitchen and the only thing serviceable in my bedroom is the bed. Can’t use the elliptical, have no place to put the yoga mat and nothing to do in the evenings when I’m home but sit on the couch. This is terrifying. This is the old me, not the new me. And what happens? You gain weight. Of course, It’s no surprise, I’m depressed, I’m anxious and I’m mostly forced to live the life I lived before I started all this change. I’m sedentary. If I want to do something, I actually have to leave my house. And you can’t just leave your house all the time. Not enough things to do, friends to go around, or motivation. The only good news is that a lot of my new eating habits are really ingrained, I refuse to buy junk food, and I haven’t gained a ton of weight –but I feel it, I feel out of control and my clothes are tight. And this doesn’t help me feel better about myself or my condition right now either! So what do you do when things are falling apart? Well first you cry. And I did that for a good long time. The whole melodramatic fetal position let it out pity party. I believe you have to feel your feelings. But I also hope you have to be aware enough to know while it’s okay to mourn your losses, you have to try and pick yourself up and pull yourself through it. So what am I doing? I started by reviewing everything I know that makes me feel better. • Taking my vitamins – I know I’m low on D and I need to supplement, and I know that D (and sunshine) make me feel psychologically better. • Eating well. Crap food makes you feel better while you’re eating it – but healthy food makes you feel better for the day. Physiologically, it’s about being as strong as you can be, so that you’re able to handle the psychological healing. So I’ve kept the fruit and veggie drawers full and tried to keep my snacking to popcorn and dessert yogurt flavours. • Exercise. Seriously, all I want to do is lie on the couch. But in my heart, I know that if I can get my heart beating fast for just 20 minutes, I am actually going to feel better for the rest of the night. So when I come home after work, I force myself, literally, to the gym for 20 minutes of sweating and puffing and I grump and grumble but at about the 16 minute mark I miraculously start to feel better, a smile comes to my face, my attitude shifts to optimism and I know the happy chemicals are flooding my brain and will get me through the rest of the night. And usually, because I feel good, I’ll actually end up doing 30 minutes or even an hour, instead of just doing the 20 I promised. Win/win! • See friends. It would be so easy to sit at home and feel bad for myself, but I am working harder than ever to get out and laugh and socialize. So I have an extra ten pounds to lose. I’ve gained before when I’ve hurt my knee or when I was producing my play, but I’ve lost it and more every single time. Life is a series of events, some are great and some less so. But the trick to life is learning how to get through all of these events. Learning what it is you need to do to survive – because sometimes it’s getting through and sometimes its survival. And the other trick is to not hate yourself if you falter while you’re getting through it. You’re only human. I’m only human. I know all this, but I’ve still gained ten pounds. Some days I hate putting on my clothes and finding something that I feel good in. But I only go there for a moment. And then I focus on the fact that I’m surviving, ten pounds isn’t bad, and I’m having fish tacos and oven fries for dinner – when I could be at MacDonald’s instead. I’m doing okay.
Arlene says: Hear hear -- out of your control sucks! My story this week isn’t new, but it is new to me. I hurt myself, such a little thing such a scary result. I gained a pound for each of the first few weeks, less activity, pain and boredom and some self-pity chocolate. I start physio and my physical therapist says don’t walk too much, your gait is off. We are focusing on exercises and stretches, but not the 45 minute power walks that managed my weight. So, it got up to four pounds and then I went, STOP! Yeah, I was lying, I can’t eat those pity sweets and be honest they really help my mood. My husband and I looked at our plans (golf, golf and more golf) and took an honest look. Like Deborah I need a plan, a way to focus my energy and be productive so I don’t let boredom and fear prompt unhelpful choices. I have lost a pound this week and returned to my new recipe focus which helps as well.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

I heard it through the grapevine


Deborah says:
I read recently that one of the secrets of successful weight losers/maintainers is that they share – they go public. Don’t keep it a secret. Well, obviously if you’re losing weight, it’s not going to be a secret for long, people will notice. But when I first read about going public, I thought that was crazy (forget that fact that I’ve written a book about it www.stoplyingnow.com) for a minute. Generally, I’m a private person and pick and choose who I share things with. But then I stopped and thought about it. And I realized a shared a lot. I reached out a lot. I got help where ever and from whomever I could.

Dietitian: I was lucky, I worked with Kelly. And though I tried hard not to cross a line and ask for purely personal advice, I did have lots of spirited discussions with her about different foods, different components of food, theories about diets and lots of other stuff. I learned a ton from her.

Kinesiologist: Again, I work with both kinesiologists and physiotherapists. Again, I tried hard not to cross the line between asking generalized questions and getting a personal training plan, but I learned tons about exercise, burning calories, fitness, injury, recovery, stretching and lots of other things.

Healthy people: I work with a woman names Sue, who is a few years older than me and a marathon runner. She had a fit healthy body I would kill for. I loved to talk to her about what she ate, how she lived and her fitness routine. I started to model my lifestyle after hers in small ways. When she was training for a marathon, I matched her training schedule in the gym (I am not a runner) with mileage on treadmill, stairmaster and bike – including the 26 mile marathon day. I was so proud of that.

Psychologist: My favourite thing in the world to do is to find Arlene in her office, free of clients, and willing to discuss something I’ve read with her. We talk about all the recent weight loss press (hormones, recidivism, etc) , we talk about addictions, we talk about brain pathways … we talk about the most fascinating and interesting things. And all of these talks have hlped me gain a better understanding of how my insides actually function and gain insight into change.

Now I know what you’re going to say – I got to work with all these people, had free and unlimited access to them. Yes, I did. But I didn’t take advantage of it for the first three years I worked with them. I reached out when I finally realized I didn’t want to die young and fat. But just because you don’t work with these people, doesn’t mean you can’t access them. Most company health plans will pay for these kinds of consultations. Yours doesn’t? Find a training school. Most of the above have to do internships or work with clients for a certain number of hours before they are certified and why not take advantage of that? Call your City Recreation Department, lots of great services there. Some indexed to your income. And every city has free psychological counselling you can access.

Remember how I said you were going to have to work hard to change your lifestyle? I meant it. These people didn’t make me lose weight. They taught me lots of helpful things. But I sought them out, and I made the changes. Now you go and do the same thing!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Butternut Squash Mash



Seriously, I have found the answer to mashed potatoes. Didn't think mashed potatoes were a question that needed answering? Read this!


I love mashed potatoes but you sure do take a hit on calories (273) and fat (17.5g). Sometimes with these big dinner-days (Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving) I let myself have some, but I pay for them - either by passing on dessert or doing a bit more in the gym.

But this year, I have accidentally stumbled across a replacement for mashed potatoes that gives me the mouth feel and brain feel that I require from this food to feel satisfied. And it's a much healthier alternative (calories: 149.5, fat: 6.3 plus almost 5 grams of fibre) - fitting more with these intentions I keep talking about.


Here's how I did it.

Butternut Squash Mash
Butternut squash - about 20 ounces/560 grams
2 cups spinach (baby or chopped)
3 cloves garlic
2 teaspoon olive oil
1 tablespoon maple syrup
3 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese
Olive oil spray or olive oil flavoured cooking spray
salt and pepper to taste

Take 1 butternut squash or 1 bag of butternut squash cubes (20 ounces, about 560 grams). Place on pan sprayed with cooking spray, and then spray with olive oil cooking spray. Roast in 400 degree oven until fork tender.

While squash is roasting, heat 2 tsp of olive oil in nonstick pan with garlic (to taste) and spinach until spinach is wilted. Remove to a large bowel. Add 1/4 cup low fat cream cheese, 1 tablespoon maple syrup and 3 tablespoons of grated parmesan cheese.

Add hot roasted butternut squash and mash. Should make four good servings. Calories/fat/fibre as above!

I guess now I can have my cake and eat it too?

So forget food, what's your happiest Easter memory that doesn't involve 1200 calories?

For me, family days always meant a rollicking game of cards or Stockticker. Two solid hours of laughs and chats around the table with parents and aunts and uncles and kids. I loved those times.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Lent ends, let the chocolate feasting begin!

Happy Easter and happy long weekend everyone!

Deborah says:
The double whammy. First of all, you gave up something for Lent (and why is it almost always food?) and 40 days later you’re ready to chow down again PLUS some crazy person decided we should all receive chocolate for being such good people! Where to start?

Okay, Lent. Now, I’m not practicing any sort of religion now that requires me to observe Lent (or Easter for that matter) but I did give something up for Lent, as did most of my non-religious friends. And what’s interesting is that for most of us, it was some type of food. I find that in itself so interesting, that we all have eating behaviors that bother us so much we feel we have to give them up for 40 days. I gave up peanut butter, but I gave up the behavior of peanut butter, not the food? Is that crazy? I’ve allowed myself to still use peanut butter in cooking (i.e. a few tablespoons in curries, etc.). What I gave up was snacking on it. My snack of a single cracker with peanut butter had evolved into crackers with peanut butter and sprinkled with chocolate chips and then a spoon dipped into peanut butter and then the bag of chocolate chips, and then repeat several times. It was a problem for me.
But when I gave it up for Lent, I actually meant I gave it up. Period. Lent was my excuse. I read once where a common behavior in alcoholics is to give up drinking for days, weeks, months just to prove they CAN. I don’t know if that’s true, but if it is, what does that say about us giving up food for Lent? And you know me, it’s about the Stop Lying stuff, so I feel that if I feel strongly enough about giving something up for any period of time, I need to investigate the behavior a little closer, and maybe it’s something I need to remediate altogether.

As to the chocolate. Fuck me. A holiday where there is chocolate laying around everywhere. And crappy chocolate. I mean those Easter Bunnies are disgusting, I don’t actually know how they can call them chocolate because I’m pretty sure there’s nothing in them that even resembles chocolate anymore. They taste awful, I don’t really enjoy them, but I eat them. And then the Devil himself invented things like Cadbury’s Easter Cream Eggs or Caramilk Eggs. And then every other candy manufacturer invented some sort of egg-shaped variation of their treats. And then they spend gazillions of dollars advertising the damned things with every other commercial on TV so that I can’t even enjoy my favourite shows without some sort of temptation. I hate the Easter Bunny! It’s crazy – chocolate isn’t even a big deal for me normally (unless it’s attached to peanut butter coating a spoon). I don’t think about chocolate all the time, I appreciate a nice bite of good chocolate, but it doesn’t make me crazy, keep me up nights. But I do think the month-long battering we take before the actual event is what makes me become a month long choco-holic, avoiding checkout lines everywhere.

Do I have a plan? Well, my intentions are not to eat any of these chocolate treats. I could allow myself one or two or seven and just adjust my eating, but for me, chocolate is not important enough and if it were, I would make sure it was premium chocolate, not this chemical filled fake sugar laden fat heavy goop. So I intend not to eat any of this crazy chocolate to celebrate Easter. Instead, I’m going to use it as an excuse to make turkey – one of my favourite things in the world. And I’m not inviting anyone else to share it – I’m making this for me. This way, I get a nice dinner one night, and I get turkey in the freezer for meals and snacks, and I get a great big pot of turkey curry soup. Now, I’m not lying, none of this gives me the same immediate thrill that chocolate does, even the crappy stuff, but it makes me happy and in the long term, when my “treats” (my least favourite word in the world by the way) meet my intentions, I’m a way happier person than any tiny release of dopamine from a fat rush can give me.

How do you handle Easter?

Arlene says:

The alcoholic giving up alcohol for a week, month or more to prove they can is very common. You know it’s a problem when the entire time they are counting down to the day they can start again. When thoughts of the drink they would have if they could keep coming up over and over, it’s a problem. Yes, it works for food too, you know you have a problem when… you think of (fill in favourite food here) all the time; you plan for your next opportunity to have ____; you organize your life so ______ seems a rational choice and Easter is brutal for providing “rational” choices. We buy goodies for family and friends, and perhaps don’t give it all away. We receive goodies from family and friends and then are “obligated” to eat it. We use the LIE, “I don’t want it to go to waste.”

Make other choices. It really is that simple. Stop Lying about the reasons and make other choices for what you are giving to your family and friends; do not buy chocolate. If Easter is about getting together with family, then just do that.

Remember when it was about real eggs? There’s nothing wrong with eggs, healthy, protein filled, excellent vitamin sources. Maybe we need to go back to tradition and give pretty eggs, have fun making pretty eggs. If chocolate seems “essential”, then limit it to one high quality chocolate gift.

There are many options, but the most important step is making a decision, before you are surrounded by chocolate, about what you are buying, why and for whom.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

I dare you!


Deborah says:
Have you ever given yourself a food challenge? I find sometimes it’s easy to get bored or in a rut with food. For example a salad with some sort of protein on it every night for a week? Apples are on sale – so they are the only fruit I eat for a week. So when I’m bored or my weight has plateaued, I will issue myself a challenge.
• I will eat only lean proteins for a week (fish, tofu, etc.)
• No canned foods for a week.
• No boxed foods for a week.
• Five fish meals in a week.

It really changes the way you eat for the duration of your challenge. You have to think, instead of do dinner on autopilot, you have to plan and shop and chop. It also changes how you feel. For example, I really love the way I feel when I eat lean proteins. Now, I can’t keep it up forever, sometimes I just want a pork chop, but I usually do two or three lean protein months every year. And it helps me remember how good I feel when I eat lean proteins, and it helps remind me to eat more lean proteins as a regular part of my diet, because I feel better when I do.

One week I challenged myself to eat no packaged foods of any type for a week (boxed or canned). And that was a hard, hard week. It surprised me, actually, what a challenge it was. And I’m a person that likes to cook from scratch. But imagine spaghetti sauce without canned tomatoes or tomato paste? Eggs without bacon, turkey bacon, ham slices, sausage? (though I made some creative omelets). Soup stocks made from scratch, no boxes or bouillon cubes.! That was actually the toughest challenge I ever gave myself.

I’ve also given myself an exercise challenge. My baseline is 30 minute of walking a day and 20 minutes of cardio 5 days a week, with some sort of strength training at least three times a week. In the style of Weight Watchers, I give myself points for exercise – 1 for every 15 minutes of leisure/easy workout, 2 points for 15 minutes of moderate and 2 points for every 10 minutes of OMG I can’t breathe workout. Over the Christmas holidays, while I was off work, I challenged myself to hit 100 points a week. Again, it kept me moving during almost ten days of enforced vacation, and it gave me leg muscles of absolute steel. Plus, a good sweat always makes me happy. And I did it, by the way, 106 points the first week, 96 points the second week (I lost out on New years day because I had a flood).

So if you’re bored, toss down the gauntlet to yourself (and your family) and challenge yourself with something and shake up your routine a bit.

Arlene says:
What a great idea! I love the idea of breaking out of the food rut. My husband teases me that I only cook five different meals, with some slight variations. I agree it would be tough to avoid all boxes and cans for a week, but what would fit for me is the new meal with new ingredients. One of my best friends gave me a a cookbook, Spilling the Beans, and I think I will take that on for the next few weeks. At least one new recipe a week which uses something out of my usual five. Hmmm how will I do?