Your 15 minutes ...

Deborah says: Was it Andy Warhol who said that everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame? Let me tell you something - lose a whole bunch of weight and you will DEFINITELY get your 15 minutes! Holy man - everyone who ever knew you fat will be all over you - you look gorgeous, your outfits are so cute, I’m so impressed with what you’ve done. Anyone who didn’t know you will be all over you - because for the first time in your life you’re walking down the street like you own it. Nothing like a little self confidence to attract a crowd. You’ll take endless photos, buy endless clothes, your skirts will probably get shorter, your blouses may be a bit more fitted, your colours will probably be brighter. People at the gym may comment on how good you look, how hard you work out, how you motivate them. Anytime you tell someone what you’ve accomplished they’ll tell you that you’re an inspiration. And then, like everything, one day it’s old news. Everyone already knows you’ve lost weight. Even your barista. And they’ve congratulated you. So what now? Hello? What now? Are you out of your fucking mind???? I’ve lost 140 pounds. I don’t care if no one still notices or comments on the streets or says anything at my gym. I’ve lost 140 fucking pounds. I’ve lost another person. Who cares if I have more to go? What now? What now is really about not relying on external sources for your confidence or esteem. Don’t get me wrong, the day a total stranger came up to me on the street, gave me a piece of paper with his phone number on it and said “call me” was one of the best days of my life. But only by a little. This morning was pretty good too. What happened this morning? I got dressed (new jeans) and looked in the mirror, front and side views, and thought, “wow, I’m so impressed with you. You’ve gained, you’ve lost, you’ve regained bits and pieces and dealt with that. And look at you. You’re amazing.” And then I smiled and went to work. Walking like I owned the streets. Love yourself. Love what you accomplish. Love your mistakes and learn from them. And if a strange man comes up to you on the street … well give him my number!

Arlene says: Smile at the person in the mirror. Say to her/him what you say to encourage your friends. Confident people change, confident people look after themselves, and confident people recognize and honour their own needs. Far too often people confuse self-care for selfish. You must look after yourself first or there will be nothing left to share. Confident people do not blame or shame.

Give credit where credit is due!

Deborah says: Changing and maintaining your lifestyle is a challenge. But just for today, let’s focus on the good. Let’s focus on the people out there that help us out, make it easier to figure out what to eat, not leave us feeling ostracized when we go out with our friends. Here is my list of kudos with explanations. Earl’s. I enjoy this restaurant, the good service and the varied menu. I am grateful that every one of their menu items has full nutritional information online, including desserts. I applaud them for making several meals healthy choices for me. I’m really sad that they’ve removed Edamame from their menu, as that with the dynamite prawn roll, was one of my favourite dinners. Maybe if we all start a write in campaign, they’ll bring them back. Joey Tomato’s. Same as Earl’s – every menu item has complete nutritional information online. Easy to pick what you’re going to eat. I appreciate that their sizes aren’t crazy large, that their gyoza are not only tasty but a healthy choice and that there are lots of other choices, too. Milestones. Ask to see the low sodium menu. Not only is it low sodium, it’s low fat and low calorie and every bit as tasty. And how did I figure that out? Because they’re online too! Starbucks. Hot or cold, high fat or low fat, there are millions of combinations to make your drink just right for you. All info is online and their snack counter is filled up with lots of healthy options if you have the munchies. I’ve adapted my Starbucks all the way through my weight loss journey – proof you don’t have to give anything up, just adapt! Those are my top favourites – what about you? Who makes it easier for you to maintain a healthy lifestyle?

Arlene says: My recent experience was a very pleasant surprise at the Stampeder's ladies event, It's A Snap! It was my first experience at the event and a lot of fun. They advertised appetizers and wine and there was lots to choose from. Now I could comment on the wine being a bit of a critic, but it was likely fine considering the venue. The food choices were excellent! There were roasted vegetables, fresh veggies and dip, smaller rolls or wraps and fruit. while you could have made some not so healthy choices there was ample opportunity to Stop Lying and choose wisely. Reality is, there are an increasing number of good choices in restaurants and coffee shops now, healthier choices. But in the moment it can still be difficult to make wise decisions. what may work? Plan ahead, as Deborah said, go online and make your choices ahead or use those Implementation Intentions (see Stop Lying) and set yourself up to succeed.

What motivates you?

Deborah says: Just read an interesting blog about someone who has gained weight. This person said it was because she didn’t have any motivating factors in her life right now. Hmmm. Let’s discuss. I think this goes back to why are you losing weight. I think the truth is, to be successful you have to rethink/reframe things. It’s not really just about losing weight, it’s about changing your lifestyle. Losing weight and dieting are finite things. They have an end point. Lifestyle doesn’t really have that end. Well technically it does but I’m not ready to think about that yet! So if you are “losing weight” by training for a marathon - well that’s great and that’s good motivation for sure. But then what are you going to do the day after the marathon? Other than take Advil and ice baths? I’m changing my lifestyle. I’m working toward being that fit and active person that I admire. The one that doesn’t sit around watching TV unless it’s date night. I want to be that person that is out and doing things with everyone … or anyone … and I never want to say no because I am too big to fit somewhere or I’m too heavy for something or I can’t climb/run/walk that far. I want to be included in things. I want to hike mountains, swim oceans, see the world, carry a backpack (but stay in a Hilton please). I want to camp and be able to out-run those damned bears (or at least not be the slowest runner … otherwise know as “dinner”). And that, my friends, is a goal without end. Fitness and health are something we do every day. I need to breathe deep, make my heart race, stretch and strengthen my muscles and feed myself good fuel until the day I die. So what are my motivating factors? Like Tevye says, in Fiddler on the Roof: To Life! Arlene says: It’s the internal rewards that keep us motivated. Feeling stronger or feeling the sense of accomplishment when we can do something makes us want to do it again. External rewards can help us initiate goals, but we need to feel a difference to keep going in the long run. What we don’t do enough is savour the good feelings. We don’t pay enough attention to what leads to the good feelings and what it feels like in our body/minds. I get asked a lot, “Why is it so easy to focus on the negative?” I think one reason is practice, it becomes a habit. Considering our society’s attitude to over-weight and obese, there’s a lot of reinforcement of negative self-statements and judgments too. So remember to savour the good feelings and what you did in the moment to create them.