What do you do when it's all falling apart?

Deborah says: I lost weight by doing a lot of things, becoming more active, eating differently, changing how I think, changing my behaviours – basically changing my entire lifestyle. And I have maintained and continued that weight loss through setting up some very carefully planned routines, keeping my freezer full of healthy meals and having a well developed back up plan for unexpected get-togethers and after work restaurant gatherings. Works like a charm. And then something happens, something so out of your control, and so devastating, that it throws your entire life off track. And something that – did I say it already, well it bears repeating – is out of your control. Control is my word of the day. When I’m in control, well things just work. I know what I need to do. I know what I need to eat. I know how to be active and keep busy and maintain this new lifestyle. But basically, right now, I’m living in about a ten square foot area with barely a kitchen and the only thing serviceable in my bedroom is the bed. Can’t use the elliptical, have no place to put the yoga mat and nothing to do in the evenings when I’m home but sit on the couch. This is terrifying. This is the old me, not the new me. And what happens? You gain weight. Of course, It’s no surprise, I’m depressed, I’m anxious and I’m mostly forced to live the life I lived before I started all this change. I’m sedentary. If I want to do something, I actually have to leave my house. And you can’t just leave your house all the time. Not enough things to do, friends to go around, or motivation. The only good news is that a lot of my new eating habits are really ingrained, I refuse to buy junk food, and I haven’t gained a ton of weight –but I feel it, I feel out of control and my clothes are tight. And this doesn’t help me feel better about myself or my condition right now either! So what do you do when things are falling apart? Well first you cry. And I did that for a good long time. The whole melodramatic fetal position let it out pity party. I believe you have to feel your feelings. But I also hope you have to be aware enough to know while it’s okay to mourn your losses, you have to try and pick yourself up and pull yourself through it. So what am I doing? I started by reviewing everything I know that makes me feel better. • Taking my vitamins – I know I’m low on D and I need to supplement, and I know that D (and sunshine) make me feel psychologically better. • Eating well. Crap food makes you feel better while you’re eating it – but healthy food makes you feel better for the day. Physiologically, it’s about being as strong as you can be, so that you’re able to handle the psychological healing. So I’ve kept the fruit and veggie drawers full and tried to keep my snacking to popcorn and dessert yogurt flavours. • Exercise. Seriously, all I want to do is lie on the couch. But in my heart, I know that if I can get my heart beating fast for just 20 minutes, I am actually going to feel better for the rest of the night. So when I come home after work, I force myself, literally, to the gym for 20 minutes of sweating and puffing and I grump and grumble but at about the 16 minute mark I miraculously start to feel better, a smile comes to my face, my attitude shifts to optimism and I know the happy chemicals are flooding my brain and will get me through the rest of the night. And usually, because I feel good, I’ll actually end up doing 30 minutes or even an hour, instead of just doing the 20 I promised. Win/win! • See friends. It would be so easy to sit at home and feel bad for myself, but I am working harder than ever to get out and laugh and socialize. So I have an extra ten pounds to lose. I’ve gained before when I’ve hurt my knee or when I was producing my play, but I’ve lost it and more every single time. Life is a series of events, some are great and some less so. But the trick to life is learning how to get through all of these events. Learning what it is you need to do to survive – because sometimes it’s getting through and sometimes its survival. And the other trick is to not hate yourself if you falter while you’re getting through it. You’re only human. I’m only human. I know all this, but I’ve still gained ten pounds. Some days I hate putting on my clothes and finding something that I feel good in. But I only go there for a moment. And then I focus on the fact that I’m surviving, ten pounds isn’t bad, and I’m having fish tacos and oven fries for dinner – when I could be at MacDonald’s instead. I’m doing okay.

Arlene says: Hear hear -- out of your control sucks! My story this week isn’t new, but it is new to me. I hurt myself, such a little thing such a scary result. I gained a pound for each of the first few weeks, less activity, pain and boredom and some self-pity chocolate. I start physio and my physical therapist says don’t walk too much, your gait is off. We are focusing on exercises and stretches, but not the 45 minute power walks that managed my weight. So, it got up to four pounds and then I went, STOP! Yeah, I was lying, I can’t eat those pity sweets and be honest they really help my mood. My husband and I looked at our plans (golf, golf and more golf) and took an honest look. Like Deborah I need a plan, a way to focus my energy and be productive so I don’t let boredom and fear prompt unhelpful choices. I have lost a pound this week and returned to my new recipe focus which helps as well.