Deborah says:
Probably the biggest single mistake I made all the other times I tried to lose weight, and the biggest single mistake I read about on the blogosphere, is trying to do it all at once. Write that down somewhere – it’s important!
Ever heard this one: You didn’t gain all this weight in (a day, a month, a year) so how do you expect to lose it that quickly? FUCK I hate that. But it’s true. Damn.
Let’s take the example of a blog I just read – this poor girl is struggling to hit her goal weight and has set herself the lofty goal of losing 40 some pounds in four and a half months. To start with, I have to say unless you’re a 20 year old guy, that’s a pretty aggressive goal – but we’ll talk about that another day. So her first week of changes to finally reach this goal weight? Dusting off the running shoes and hitting the streets, drinking two litres of water a day, no sweets or chocolates, regular workouts besides the running, journaling, eating on diet plan, to bed early and regular grocery shopping. Wow! I’ve been doing this for four and a half years and barely have all that figured out.
You didn’t gain all this weight in a week. How can you expect to totally change your life in a week?
When we recently had our book launch party (www.fireescape.com) I said I had tried every diet in the world until I found out the one simple thing I had to do to be successful: completely change my lifestyle!
I had to:
• change my portion sizes
• cut down on fats
• cut down on refined foods
• eat more natural foods
• cook and chop more
• shop regularly
• menu plan
• journal
• exercise
• move more (can’t exercise for 20 minutes and sit on the couch the rest of the night)
• learn new activities
• find more active friends
• learn to shop
• experiment with baking
• pack lunches
• drink water
• learn about nutrition• learn about exercise
• stretch
• sleep better/more
And that’s only the start of it. The hard part was keeping it up. But what I didn’t do was sabotage myself by setting up impossible goals and lifestyle changes. Even me, a person who thrives on change and pressure, could not have survived a week changing everything at once. I not only would have wound up having a huge binge, I would have started drinking and probably smoking too.
No, think of it this way. A journey of 100 pounds begins with one change. Or something like that.
The thought of dieting (which is what I used to call it) for five years and making all these changes slowly but surely did not appeal to me. I wanted to lose 100 pounds in a year. Two pounds a week, right? Wrong. Never worked before, so I was pretty sure it wouldn’t work this time. So I had to change one thing at a time. For me it was portion sizes. I pulled out the measuring cups and I measured everything. I didn’t even limit myself on seconds – but I did require a 20 minute waiting period in between rounds. And I didn’t change anything else until I was really comfortable with that first change. After that I added 10 minutes of exercise a day (above the walking to work that I already did). And then slowly but surely, for almost five years now, I have changed something and then gotten used to it before I changed anything else. And it’s working.
Not that it’s easy. Not that life just magically got perfect. It’s hard and slow and painful some days. But every day I make the choice to love myself, not to sabotage myself and get into that crazy cycle of guilt and self-hate that ruins everything you’re trying to do.
Love yourself enough to let yourself succeed this time. You really deserve it – because, damn, you’re going to work hard for it!
Arlene says:
It is absolutely about solidifying a change before we make a new one. The brain will only change if the new pattern is repeated over and over. We will feel overwhelmed if changes keep coming and there is no routine to rely on. Change takes attention. Paying attention is work. The more changes at one time the more work. Too much work and we get tired, low energy and have less motivation. Low motivation and the new changes seem too onerous, demanding and difficult. Why not go back to the old way, just for a short time, just this once … what do you think happens next?
The only way to build on change is to stay with one new thing until it takes less work to do it or think of it, until it becomes familiar and even semi-comfortable. Then we try adding another new thing.
Honour the fact that change is work and give yourself a chance for success.
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