Lent ends, let the chocolate feasting begin!

Happy Easter and happy long weekend everyone!

Deborah says:
The double whammy. First of all, you gave up something for Lent (and why is it almost always food?) and 40 days later you’re ready to chow down again PLUS some crazy person decided we should all receive chocolate for being such good people! Where to start?

Okay, Lent. Now, I’m not practicing any sort of religion now that requires me to observe Lent (or Easter for that matter) but I did give something up for Lent, as did most of my non-religious friends. And what’s interesting is that for most of us, it was some type of food. I find that in itself so interesting, that we all have eating behaviors that bother us so much we feel we have to give them up for 40 days. I gave up peanut butter, but I gave up the behavior of peanut butter, not the food? Is that crazy? I’ve allowed myself to still use peanut butter in cooking (i.e. a few tablespoons in curries, etc.). What I gave up was snacking on it. My snack of a single cracker with peanut butter had evolved into crackers with peanut butter and sprinkled with chocolate chips and then a spoon dipped into peanut butter and then the bag of chocolate chips, and then repeat several times. It was a problem for me.
But when I gave it up for Lent, I actually meant I gave it up. Period. Lent was my excuse. I read once where a common behavior in alcoholics is to give up drinking for days, weeks, months just to prove they CAN. I don’t know if that’s true, but if it is, what does that say about us giving up food for Lent? And you know me, it’s about the Stop Lying stuff, so I feel that if I feel strongly enough about giving something up for any period of time, I need to investigate the behavior a little closer, and maybe it’s something I need to remediate altogether.

As to the chocolate. Fuck me. A holiday where there is chocolate laying around everywhere. And crappy chocolate. I mean those Easter Bunnies are disgusting, I don’t actually know how they can call them chocolate because I’m pretty sure there’s nothing in them that even resembles chocolate anymore. They taste awful, I don’t really enjoy them, but I eat them. And then the Devil himself invented things like Cadbury’s Easter Cream Eggs or Caramilk Eggs. And then every other candy manufacturer invented some sort of egg-shaped variation of their treats. And then they spend gazillions of dollars advertising the damned things with every other commercial on TV so that I can’t even enjoy my favourite shows without some sort of temptation. I hate the Easter Bunny! It’s crazy – chocolate isn’t even a big deal for me normally (unless it’s attached to peanut butter coating a spoon). I don’t think about chocolate all the time, I appreciate a nice bite of good chocolate, but it doesn’t make me crazy, keep me up nights. But I do think the month-long battering we take before the actual event is what makes me become a month long choco-holic, avoiding checkout lines everywhere.

Do I have a plan? Well, my intentions are not to eat any of these chocolate treats. I could allow myself one or two or seven and just adjust my eating, but for me, chocolate is not important enough and if it were, I would make sure it was premium chocolate, not this chemical filled fake sugar laden fat heavy goop. So I intend not to eat any of this crazy chocolate to celebrate Easter. Instead, I’m going to use it as an excuse to make turkey – one of my favourite things in the world. And I’m not inviting anyone else to share it – I’m making this for me. This way, I get a nice dinner one night, and I get turkey in the freezer for meals and snacks, and I get a great big pot of turkey curry soup. Now, I’m not lying, none of this gives me the same immediate thrill that chocolate does, even the crappy stuff, but it makes me happy and in the long term, when my “treats” (my least favourite word in the world by the way) meet my intentions, I’m a way happier person than any tiny release of dopamine from a fat rush can give me.

How do you handle Easter?

Arlene says:

The alcoholic giving up alcohol for a week, month or more to prove they can is very common. You know it’s a problem when the entire time they are counting down to the day they can start again. When thoughts of the drink they would have if they could keep coming up over and over, it’s a problem. Yes, it works for food too, you know you have a problem when… you think of (fill in favourite food here) all the time; you plan for your next opportunity to have ____; you organize your life so ______ seems a rational choice and Easter is brutal for providing “rational” choices. We buy goodies for family and friends, and perhaps don’t give it all away. We receive goodies from family and friends and then are “obligated” to eat it. We use the LIE, “I don’t want it to go to waste.”

Make other choices. It really is that simple. Stop Lying about the reasons and make other choices for what you are giving to your family and friends; do not buy chocolate. If Easter is about getting together with family, then just do that.

Remember when it was about real eggs? There’s nothing wrong with eggs, healthy, protein filled, excellent vitamin sources. Maybe we need to go back to tradition and give pretty eggs, have fun making pretty eggs. If chocolate seems “essential”, then limit it to one high quality chocolate gift.

There are many options, but the most important step is making a decision, before you are surrounded by chocolate, about what you are buying, why and for whom.

Early to bed ... ?

Deborah says:
So I just finished dinner, cleaned everything up and had an entire night at home alone without anything to do. So exciting. I could finally watch a movie I’ve taped, or catch up on some recreational reading, or play Scrabble on my iPad. So I made a cup of tea, sat down, chose a movie and started watching it. About five minutes later I’m looking towards the kitchen and thinking about munchies. After all, I had a few calories left for the day.
Actual conversation from my head:
Pay attention to the movie.
Popcorn??
You’ve wanted to see this one for ages.
Rice krispies with peanut butter?
You love George Clooney.
Apple dipped in no fat caramel sauce?
You just had dinner.
It’s fun to munch when watching a movie.
You’re not hungry.
I know but …
Oh for God’s sake!

Click!! Thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk. Slam!

Sometimes you just have to go to bed!

No matter how good your intentions or your plan, no matter how strong your will or determination – sometimes you just have to go to bed – even if it’s only 6:45 p.m.

Arlene says:
Those behaviour chains are the worse. That collection of behaviours that fire together so often (popcorn/movie, bar with friends/beer & nachos, bar with football buddies/wings, anything to do with curling/beer) that when we do one the other automatically comes to mind. It is automatic, we have created that link. My most successful approach so far has been to plan what I will do instead of the usual or to set a very clear limit on the usual. Take wings for example, very easy to lose count; however, if you keep the bones on your own plate, rather than tossing them into the communal pile, you get excellent feedback about your intake. Another option is to order the veggie plate, donate the dip to the hot wing folk, and stay focused on your carrots. Not the same but at least you have something to do with your hands around all those carnivores.

First step, notice your behaviour chains. Second step, plan a strategy before the situation occurs. Last step, do it.

Happy Valentine's Day

Deborah says:
Okay, back to the caveman days. I understand how feasts were important celebrations because in those days it was literally feast or famine. I understand how in the middle ages it was about proving that you had more than everybody else. But I don’t understand why now, in this day and age, every single celebration has to include a table laden with more food than is needed to feed an army?

I mean, we just survived Christmas and now comes the worst – a fake holiday – a Hallmark holiday – a chocolate filled holiday: Valentine’s Day. Not only are we going to be taken out for some sort of romantic dinner at a high fat … I mean over priced … I mean lovely restaurant, but we’re going to be given a 15,000 calorie box of chocolates to eat afterward. And this proves you love me???
Okay, back to the basics. Food is fuel. Love is an emotion. There is no correlation between loving me and feeding me. As a matter of fact, in my new life giving me chocolate is more a sign of dislike! (LOL)

But seriously, when I think back to other holidays, like Christmas, I don’t really remember any of the meals. I remember my grandpa playing drums on mom’s pots. I remember playing Stockticker with my dad, I remember getting the Partridge Family record album (don't judge) I really wanted and playing it all day long. I remember when our Australian friend celebrated Christmas with us. I remember building snowmen in Victoria when it hardly ever snowed, I remember snowball fights and beach trips and visitors and games and even a dress I got one year – but I don’t remember a single turkey, cranberry sauce or mashed potato.
As to Valentine’s day, well my theory is that I don’t want my partner to tell me once a year they love me, I want them to tell me that every single day. Or skip February 14 and tell me the other 364 days. But giving me a box of chocolates will not prove that anyone loves me. It’s really important to this journey that we find the true meaning of any holiday in our own minds and hearts, and celebrate it that way. I’d like to celebrate Valentine’s day on my sofa, watching a movie with my sweetie, and maybe a bowl of popcorn after supper. To me, that would mean more than any box of chocolates, the fact that someone really wants to spend time with me.

Happy Valentine’s day everyone!

Arlene says:
Ahh Valentines. Did I mention my sweetie and I are celebrating our 28th year together? Freaky! We aren’t big Valentine’s folk, it is tough to go out for a meal that for some strange reason is costing us twice as much on this date versus last week. One of my favourites is to do the pre-made dinner thing. Sunterra does a fabulous job of putting together a wonderful meal, which I can pick up and take home and enjoy with wine at cost. We can make the portion sizes what we want, skip the sauces if we don’t want them and skip the dessert for something way more fun (I meant the hockey game). Making the meal together can be a treat and if we know one thing about women, foreplay has a lot less to do with the bedroom and way more to do with being together before you get there!

3 ... 2 ... 1 ... we have lift-off!

Saturday February 4 with combined with www.fireescape.com to throw a book launch charity fundraising party. We have a ton of people come, we had some great food, tons of laughs and raised a bunch of money for Heart Beats at the Alberta Children's Hospital.


We all had something to say.

Painted a little.


Ate a little.


And made some great art!

Thank you from our hearts to everyone involved.

Will I Ever Learn???

Deb Says:
So today is Saturday and even though it’s the weekend, I’m a fairly busy person and I usually have a bit of a plan or routine for the day. For example, today my schedule was up at 6:30, work on the blog, have breakfast, go for an hour’s swim, go to the rehearsal for my children’s play, get groceries, tidy up the house a bit, and then meet a friend for dinner later. If I had time, I was going to try and fit in a little walk, as well. But the rehearsal got cancelled. Suddenly my day was free. So I slept in until 7:45, which for me is an incredible rarity, packed my swim bag, made an omelette, watched a little bit of the news this morning, surfed some blogs for a while and then went swimming. Even remembered my grocery list! I had a good swim, took my time in the shower, got dressed and headed for the grocery store. I got everything on my list and ONLY things on my list (so proud when I do that, as it is my intention) and headed for the checkout. Now, to be honest, I had been getting a little grumbly/hungry for the last couple of aisles. You see, under normal circumstances I never go swimming without a “recovery snack” for when I’m finished. But today, with my routine out the window, my recovery snack was in the fridge at home. I was trying to use distraction while I was still shopping, and it worked, sort of. But once I was at the checkout, and the rows and rows of chocolate bars in their pretty packages were staring back at me, I was in trouble. So what happens? I start talking myself into them.


Oh, Smarties! There’s hardly any chocolate in those at all, there can’t be that many calories. Oh look, an Aero Bar – it’s like filled with air, so there’ll be less chocolate in there than the other bars. A Coffee Crisp – I haven’t had one of those for years. Oh, Kit Kat, I could just break off one finger of it and save the rest for later.

What did I do? I pushed my cart forward, unloaded my groceries, paid for my groceries, took them out to my car. As I was loading my car, I ate one of the bananas I had bought. I kept focusing on the fact that if I had a chocolate bar now, I couldn’t have the “dessert” I wanted for supper tonight (my original plan: while watching Once Upon a Time I would have a small bowl of rice krispies with peanut butter and chocolate sauces drizzles over them – a snack that is moderately healthy and reminds me of a chocolate bar).

As I drove home, I reflected on my win – sticking to my original plan after all that temptation. Was I happy? Was I proud? Hell no!!! I was hungry and had low blood sugar. Nothing was going to help. But slowly, the banana started to work, and as soon as I was home I made a smoothie with fruit, a bit of honey, skim milk and a quarter cup of no fat Greek yogurt and slurped that while I was unpacking the groceries. And finally I started feeling better.

So will I ever learn? Yes, but it’s going to take a while.

Arlene Says:
Honesty. Well I wish that was easier. Why is it that everything worth doing is HARD! In our book we talk a lot about the work needed. It is not easy for anyone. Often it ends up being mirror therapy -- if you spoke to yourself like you do to a friend the ideas and support would be great. You say to your friend: “It has been a tough start to 2012, you had plans and are off track already and that is discouraging. Let’s look at the plans, where could you make it easier for yourself? “ Pretend the mirror is your friend and encourage.