Your 15 minutes ...

Deborah says: Was it Andy Warhol who said that everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame? Let me tell you something - lose a whole bunch of weight and you will DEFINITELY get your 15 minutes! Holy man - everyone who ever knew you fat will be all over you - you look gorgeous, your outfits are so cute, I’m so impressed with what you’ve done. Anyone who didn’t know you will be all over you - because for the first time in your life you’re walking down the street like you own it. Nothing like a little self confidence to attract a crowd. You’ll take endless photos, buy endless clothes, your skirts will probably get shorter, your blouses may be a bit more fitted, your colours will probably be brighter. People at the gym may comment on how good you look, how hard you work out, how you motivate them. Anytime you tell someone what you’ve accomplished they’ll tell you that you’re an inspiration. And then, like everything, one day it’s old news. Everyone already knows you’ve lost weight. Even your barista. And they’ve congratulated you. So what now? Hello? What now? Are you out of your fucking mind???? I’ve lost 140 pounds. I don’t care if no one still notices or comments on the streets or says anything at my gym. I’ve lost 140 fucking pounds. I’ve lost another person. Who cares if I have more to go? What now? What now is really about not relying on external sources for your confidence or esteem. Don’t get me wrong, the day a total stranger came up to me on the street, gave me a piece of paper with his phone number on it and said “call me” was one of the best days of my life. But only by a little. This morning was pretty good too. What happened this morning? I got dressed (new jeans) and looked in the mirror, front and side views, and thought, “wow, I’m so impressed with you. You’ve gained, you’ve lost, you’ve regained bits and pieces and dealt with that. And look at you. You’re amazing.” And then I smiled and went to work. Walking like I owned the streets. Love yourself. Love what you accomplish. Love your mistakes and learn from them. And if a strange man comes up to you on the street … well give him my number!

Arlene says: Smile at the person in the mirror. Say to her/him what you say to encourage your friends. Confident people change, confident people look after themselves, and confident people recognize and honour their own needs. Far too often people confuse self-care for selfish. You must look after yourself first or there will be nothing left to share. Confident people do not blame or shame.

Give credit where credit is due!

Deborah says: Changing and maintaining your lifestyle is a challenge. But just for today, let’s focus on the good. Let’s focus on the people out there that help us out, make it easier to figure out what to eat, not leave us feeling ostracized when we go out with our friends. Here is my list of kudos with explanations. Earl’s. I enjoy this restaurant, the good service and the varied menu. I am grateful that every one of their menu items has full nutritional information online, including desserts. I applaud them for making several meals healthy choices for me. I’m really sad that they’ve removed Edamame from their menu, as that with the dynamite prawn roll, was one of my favourite dinners. Maybe if we all start a write in campaign, they’ll bring them back. Joey Tomato’s. Same as Earl’s – every menu item has complete nutritional information online. Easy to pick what you’re going to eat. I appreciate that their sizes aren’t crazy large, that their gyoza are not only tasty but a healthy choice and that there are lots of other choices, too. Milestones. Ask to see the low sodium menu. Not only is it low sodium, it’s low fat and low calorie and every bit as tasty. And how did I figure that out? Because they’re online too! Starbucks. Hot or cold, high fat or low fat, there are millions of combinations to make your drink just right for you. All info is online and their snack counter is filled up with lots of healthy options if you have the munchies. I’ve adapted my Starbucks all the way through my weight loss journey – proof you don’t have to give anything up, just adapt! Those are my top favourites – what about you? Who makes it easier for you to maintain a healthy lifestyle?

Arlene says: My recent experience was a very pleasant surprise at the Stampeder's ladies event, It's A Snap! It was my first experience at the event and a lot of fun. They advertised appetizers and wine and there was lots to choose from. Now I could comment on the wine being a bit of a critic, but it was likely fine considering the venue. The food choices were excellent! There were roasted vegetables, fresh veggies and dip, smaller rolls or wraps and fruit. while you could have made some not so healthy choices there was ample opportunity to Stop Lying and choose wisely. Reality is, there are an increasing number of good choices in restaurants and coffee shops now, healthier choices. But in the moment it can still be difficult to make wise decisions. what may work? Plan ahead, as Deborah said, go online and make your choices ahead or use those Implementation Intentions (see Stop Lying) and set yourself up to succeed.

What motivates you?

Deborah says: Just read an interesting blog about someone who has gained weight. This person said it was because she didn’t have any motivating factors in her life right now. Hmmm. Let’s discuss. I think this goes back to why are you losing weight. I think the truth is, to be successful you have to rethink/reframe things. It’s not really just about losing weight, it’s about changing your lifestyle. Losing weight and dieting are finite things. They have an end point. Lifestyle doesn’t really have that end. Well technically it does but I’m not ready to think about that yet! So if you are “losing weight” by training for a marathon - well that’s great and that’s good motivation for sure. But then what are you going to do the day after the marathon? Other than take Advil and ice baths? I’m changing my lifestyle. I’m working toward being that fit and active person that I admire. The one that doesn’t sit around watching TV unless it’s date night. I want to be that person that is out and doing things with everyone … or anyone … and I never want to say no because I am too big to fit somewhere or I’m too heavy for something or I can’t climb/run/walk that far. I want to be included in things. I want to hike mountains, swim oceans, see the world, carry a backpack (but stay in a Hilton please). I want to camp and be able to out-run those damned bears (or at least not be the slowest runner … otherwise know as “dinner”). And that, my friends, is a goal without end. Fitness and health are something we do every day. I need to breathe deep, make my heart race, stretch and strengthen my muscles and feed myself good fuel until the day I die. So what are my motivating factors? Like Tevye says, in Fiddler on the Roof: To Life! Arlene says: It’s the internal rewards that keep us motivated. Feeling stronger or feeling the sense of accomplishment when we can do something makes us want to do it again. External rewards can help us initiate goals, but we need to feel a difference to keep going in the long run. What we don’t do enough is savour the good feelings. We don’t pay enough attention to what leads to the good feelings and what it feels like in our body/minds. I get asked a lot, “Why is it so easy to focus on the negative?” I think one reason is practice, it becomes a habit. Considering our society’s attitude to over-weight and obese, there’s a lot of reinforcement of negative self-statements and judgments too. So remember to savour the good feelings and what you did in the moment to create them.

I heard it through the grapevine

Deborah says:
I read recently that one of the secrets of successful weight losers/maintainers is that they share – they go public. Don’t keep it a secret. Well, obviously if you’re losing weight, it’s not going to be a secret for long, people will notice. But when I first read about going public, I thought that was crazy (forget that fact that I’ve written a book about it www.stoplyingnow.com) for a minute. Generally, I’m a private person and pick and choose who I share things with. But then I stopped and thought about it. And I realized a shared a lot. I reached out a lot. I got help where ever and from whomever I could.

Dietitian: I was lucky, I worked with Kelly. And though I tried hard not to cross a line and ask for purely personal advice, I did have lots of spirited discussions with her about different foods, different components of food, theories about diets and lots of other stuff. I learned a ton from her.

Kinesiologist: Again, I work with both kinesiologists and physiotherapists. Again, I tried hard not to cross the line between asking generalized questions and getting a personal training plan, but I learned tons about exercise, burning calories, fitness, injury, recovery, stretching and lots of other things.

Healthy people: I work with a woman names Sue, who is a few years older than me and a marathon runner. She had a fit healthy body I would kill for. I loved to talk to her about what she ate, how she lived and her fitness routine. I started to model my lifestyle after hers in small ways. When she was training for a marathon, I matched her training schedule in the gym (I am not a runner) with mileage on treadmill, stairmaster and bike – including the 26 mile marathon day. I was so proud of that.

Psychologist: My favourite thing in the world to do is to find Arlene in her office, free of clients, and willing to discuss something I’ve read with her. We talk about all the recent weight loss press (hormones, recidivism, etc) , we talk about addictions, we talk about brain pathways … we talk about the most fascinating and interesting things. And all of these talks have hlped me gain a better understanding of how my insides actually function and gain insight into change.

Now I know what you’re going to say – I got to work with all these people, had free and unlimited access to them. Yes, I did. But I didn’t take advantage of it for the first three years I worked with them. I reached out when I finally realized I didn’t want to die young and fat. But just because you don’t work with these people, doesn’t mean you can’t access them. Most company health plans will pay for these kinds of consultations. Yours doesn’t? Find a training school. Most of the above have to do internships or work with clients for a certain number of hours before they are certified and why not take advantage of that? Call your City Recreation Department, lots of great services there. Some indexed to your income. And every city has free psychological counselling you can access.

Remember how I said you were going to have to work hard to change your lifestyle? I meant it. These people didn’t make me lose weight. They taught me lots of helpful things. But I sought them out, and I made the changes. Now you go and do the same thing!

Butternut Squash Mash

Seriously, I have found the answer to mashed potatoes. Didn't think mashed potatoes were a question that needed answering? Read this!


I love mashed potatoes but you sure do take a hit on calories (273) and fat (17.5g). Sometimes with these big dinner-days (Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving) I let myself have some, but I pay for them - either by passing on dessert or doing a bit more in the gym.

But this year, I have accidentally stumbled across a replacement for mashed potatoes that gives me the mouth feel and brain feel that I require from this food to feel satisfied. And it's a much healthier alternative (calories: 149.5, fat: 6.3 plus almost 5 grams of fibre) - fitting more with these intentions I keep talking about.


Here's how I did it.

Butternut Squash Mash
Butternut squash - about 20 ounces/560 grams
2 cups spinach (baby or chopped)
3 cloves garlic
2 teaspoon olive oil
1 tablespoon maple syrup
3 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese
Olive oil spray or olive oil flavoured cooking spray
salt and pepper to taste

Take 1 butternut squash or 1 bag of butternut squash cubes (20 ounces, about 560 grams). Place on pan sprayed with cooking spray, and then spray with olive oil cooking spray. Roast in 400 degree oven until fork tender.

While squash is roasting, heat 2 tsp of olive oil in nonstick pan with garlic (to taste) and spinach until spinach is wilted. Remove to a large bowel. Add 1/4 cup low fat cream cheese, 1 tablespoon maple syrup and 3 tablespoons of grated parmesan cheese.

Add hot roasted butternut squash and mash. Should make four good servings. Calories/fat/fibre as above!

I guess now I can have my cake and eat it too?

So forget food, what's your happiest Easter memory that doesn't involve 1200 calories?

For me, family days always meant a rollicking game of cards or Stockticker. Two solid hours of laughs and chats around the table with parents and aunts and uncles and kids. I loved those times.

Lent ends, let the chocolate feasting begin!

Happy Easter and happy long weekend everyone!

Deborah says:
The double whammy. First of all, you gave up something for Lent (and why is it almost always food?) and 40 days later you’re ready to chow down again PLUS some crazy person decided we should all receive chocolate for being such good people! Where to start?

Okay, Lent. Now, I’m not practicing any sort of religion now that requires me to observe Lent (or Easter for that matter) but I did give something up for Lent, as did most of my non-religious friends. And what’s interesting is that for most of us, it was some type of food. I find that in itself so interesting, that we all have eating behaviors that bother us so much we feel we have to give them up for 40 days. I gave up peanut butter, but I gave up the behavior of peanut butter, not the food? Is that crazy? I’ve allowed myself to still use peanut butter in cooking (i.e. a few tablespoons in curries, etc.). What I gave up was snacking on it. My snack of a single cracker with peanut butter had evolved into crackers with peanut butter and sprinkled with chocolate chips and then a spoon dipped into peanut butter and then the bag of chocolate chips, and then repeat several times. It was a problem for me.
But when I gave it up for Lent, I actually meant I gave it up. Period. Lent was my excuse. I read once where a common behavior in alcoholics is to give up drinking for days, weeks, months just to prove they CAN. I don’t know if that’s true, but if it is, what does that say about us giving up food for Lent? And you know me, it’s about the Stop Lying stuff, so I feel that if I feel strongly enough about giving something up for any period of time, I need to investigate the behavior a little closer, and maybe it’s something I need to remediate altogether.

As to the chocolate. Fuck me. A holiday where there is chocolate laying around everywhere. And crappy chocolate. I mean those Easter Bunnies are disgusting, I don’t actually know how they can call them chocolate because I’m pretty sure there’s nothing in them that even resembles chocolate anymore. They taste awful, I don’t really enjoy them, but I eat them. And then the Devil himself invented things like Cadbury’s Easter Cream Eggs or Caramilk Eggs. And then every other candy manufacturer invented some sort of egg-shaped variation of their treats. And then they spend gazillions of dollars advertising the damned things with every other commercial on TV so that I can’t even enjoy my favourite shows without some sort of temptation. I hate the Easter Bunny! It’s crazy – chocolate isn’t even a big deal for me normally (unless it’s attached to peanut butter coating a spoon). I don’t think about chocolate all the time, I appreciate a nice bite of good chocolate, but it doesn’t make me crazy, keep me up nights. But I do think the month-long battering we take before the actual event is what makes me become a month long choco-holic, avoiding checkout lines everywhere.

Do I have a plan? Well, my intentions are not to eat any of these chocolate treats. I could allow myself one or two or seven and just adjust my eating, but for me, chocolate is not important enough and if it were, I would make sure it was premium chocolate, not this chemical filled fake sugar laden fat heavy goop. So I intend not to eat any of this crazy chocolate to celebrate Easter. Instead, I’m going to use it as an excuse to make turkey – one of my favourite things in the world. And I’m not inviting anyone else to share it – I’m making this for me. This way, I get a nice dinner one night, and I get turkey in the freezer for meals and snacks, and I get a great big pot of turkey curry soup. Now, I’m not lying, none of this gives me the same immediate thrill that chocolate does, even the crappy stuff, but it makes me happy and in the long term, when my “treats” (my least favourite word in the world by the way) meet my intentions, I’m a way happier person than any tiny release of dopamine from a fat rush can give me.

How do you handle Easter?

Arlene says:

The alcoholic giving up alcohol for a week, month or more to prove they can is very common. You know it’s a problem when the entire time they are counting down to the day they can start again. When thoughts of the drink they would have if they could keep coming up over and over, it’s a problem. Yes, it works for food too, you know you have a problem when… you think of (fill in favourite food here) all the time; you plan for your next opportunity to have ____; you organize your life so ______ seems a rational choice and Easter is brutal for providing “rational” choices. We buy goodies for family and friends, and perhaps don’t give it all away. We receive goodies from family and friends and then are “obligated” to eat it. We use the LIE, “I don’t want it to go to waste.”

Make other choices. It really is that simple. Stop Lying about the reasons and make other choices for what you are giving to your family and friends; do not buy chocolate. If Easter is about getting together with family, then just do that.

Remember when it was about real eggs? There’s nothing wrong with eggs, healthy, protein filled, excellent vitamin sources. Maybe we need to go back to tradition and give pretty eggs, have fun making pretty eggs. If chocolate seems “essential”, then limit it to one high quality chocolate gift.

There are many options, but the most important step is making a decision, before you are surrounded by chocolate, about what you are buying, why and for whom.

I dare you!

Deborah says:
Have you ever given yourself a food challenge? I find sometimes it’s easy to get bored or in a rut with food. For example a salad with some sort of protein on it every night for a week? Apples are on sale – so they are the only fruit I eat for a week. So when I’m bored or my weight has plateaued, I will issue myself a challenge.
• I will eat only lean proteins for a week (fish, tofu, etc.)
• No canned foods for a week.
• No boxed foods for a week.
• Five fish meals in a week.

It really changes the way you eat for the duration of your challenge. You have to think, instead of do dinner on autopilot, you have to plan and shop and chop. It also changes how you feel. For example, I really love the way I feel when I eat lean proteins. Now, I can’t keep it up forever, sometimes I just want a pork chop, but I usually do two or three lean protein months every year. And it helps me remember how good I feel when I eat lean proteins, and it helps remind me to eat more lean proteins as a regular part of my diet, because I feel better when I do.

One week I challenged myself to eat no packaged foods of any type for a week (boxed or canned). And that was a hard, hard week. It surprised me, actually, what a challenge it was. And I’m a person that likes to cook from scratch. But imagine spaghetti sauce without canned tomatoes or tomato paste? Eggs without bacon, turkey bacon, ham slices, sausage? (though I made some creative omelets). Soup stocks made from scratch, no boxes or bouillon cubes.! That was actually the toughest challenge I ever gave myself.

I’ve also given myself an exercise challenge. My baseline is 30 minute of walking a day and 20 minutes of cardio 5 days a week, with some sort of strength training at least three times a week. In the style of Weight Watchers, I give myself points for exercise – 1 for every 15 minutes of leisure/easy workout, 2 points for 15 minutes of moderate and 2 points for every 10 minutes of OMG I can’t breathe workout. Over the Christmas holidays, while I was off work, I challenged myself to hit 100 points a week. Again, it kept me moving during almost ten days of enforced vacation, and it gave me leg muscles of absolute steel. Plus, a good sweat always makes me happy. And I did it, by the way, 106 points the first week, 96 points the second week (I lost out on New years day because I had a flood).

So if you’re bored, toss down the gauntlet to yourself (and your family) and challenge yourself with something and shake up your routine a bit.

Arlene says:
What a great idea! I love the idea of breaking out of the food rut. My husband teases me that I only cook five different meals, with some slight variations. I agree it would be tough to avoid all boxes and cans for a week, but what would fit for me is the new meal with new ingredients. One of my best friends gave me a a cookbook, Spilling the Beans, and I think I will take that on for the next few weeks. At least one new recipe a week which uses something out of my usual five. Hmmm how will I do?

What do you mean I can't do it all?

Deborah says:
Probably the biggest single mistake I made all the other times I tried to lose weight, and the biggest single mistake I read about on the blogosphere, is trying to do it all at once. Write that down somewhere – it’s important!

Ever heard this one: You didn’t gain all this weight in (a day, a month, a year) so how do you expect to lose it that quickly? FUCK I hate that. But it’s true. Damn.

Let’s take the example of a blog I just read – this poor girl is struggling to hit her goal weight and has set herself the lofty goal of losing 40 some pounds in four and a half months. To start with, I have to say unless you’re a 20 year old guy, that’s a pretty aggressive goal – but we’ll talk about that another day. So her first week of changes to finally reach this goal weight? Dusting off the running shoes and hitting the streets, drinking two litres of water a day, no sweets or chocolates, regular workouts besides the running, journaling, eating on diet plan, to bed early and regular grocery shopping. Wow! I’ve been doing this for four and a half years and barely have all that figured out.
You didn’t gain all this weight in a week. How can you expect to totally change your life in a week?

When we recently had our book launch party (www.fireescape.com) I said I had tried every diet in the world until I found out the one simple thing I had to do to be successful: completely change my lifestyle!
I had to:
• change my portion sizes
• cut down on fats
• cut down on refined foods
• eat more natural foods
• cook and chop more
• shop regularly
• menu plan
• journal
• exercise
• move more (can’t exercise for 20 minutes and sit on the couch the rest of the night)
• learn new activities
• find more active friends
• learn to shop
• experiment with baking
• pack lunches
• drink water
• learn about nutrition• learn about exercise
• stretch
• sleep better/more

And that’s only the start of it. The hard part was keeping it up. But what I didn’t do was sabotage myself by setting up impossible goals and lifestyle changes. Even me, a person who thrives on change and pressure, could not have survived a week changing everything at once. I not only would have wound up having a huge binge, I would have started drinking and probably smoking too.

No, think of it this way. A journey of 100 pounds begins with one change. Or something like that.

The thought of dieting (which is what I used to call it) for five years and making all these changes slowly but surely did not appeal to me. I wanted to lose 100 pounds in a year. Two pounds a week, right? Wrong. Never worked before, so I was pretty sure it wouldn’t work this time. So I had to change one thing at a time. For me it was portion sizes. I pulled out the measuring cups and I measured everything. I didn’t even limit myself on seconds – but I did require a 20 minute waiting period in between rounds. And I didn’t change anything else until I was really comfortable with that first change. After that I added 10 minutes of exercise a day (above the walking to work that I already did). And then slowly but surely, for almost five years now, I have changed something and then gotten used to it before I changed anything else. And it’s working.

Not that it’s easy. Not that life just magically got perfect. It’s hard and slow and painful some days. But every day I make the choice to love myself, not to sabotage myself and get into that crazy cycle of guilt and self-hate that ruins everything you’re trying to do.

Love yourself enough to let yourself succeed this time. You really deserve it – because, damn, you’re going to work hard for it!

Arlene says:
It is absolutely about solidifying a change before we make a new one. The brain will only change if the new pattern is repeated over and over. We will feel overwhelmed if changes keep coming and there is no routine to rely on. Change takes attention. Paying attention is work. The more changes at one time the more work. Too much work and we get tired, low energy and have less motivation. Low motivation and the new changes seem too onerous, demanding and difficult. Why not go back to the old way, just for a short time, just this once … what do you think happens next?

The only way to build on change is to stay with one new thing until it takes less work to do it or think of it, until it becomes familiar and even semi-comfortable. Then we try adding another new thing.

Honour the fact that change is work and give yourself a chance for success.

What's so good about feeling bad?

Deborah says:
I know I feel good when I go to the gym. Or walk. Or swim. So when I’m feeling bad why don’t I just race over to the exercise bike so I’ll feel better? Especially when I KNOW I’ll feel better?

Did anyone else have a tough 2011? Most of my friends did. I know I had challenges at the day job, with my home, with my heart, with some friends and physically, as well. I was beginning to feel like there wasn’t a safe place left to go. I know that having my home broken (flood damage) for ten months now has left me feeling as if I have no haven, no safe place. The gym. And yet I’ve struggled to get there. It doesn’t feel good to feel bad, but sometimes, when you’re on the couch and home for the day, it seems really hard to get ass to gym – and I have to tell youin my case it’s just across the hall.

Is it those old habits again? Just sit here, shove some food on it and you’ll feel better! But I know I won’t. I know what will make me feel better, even for a short time, will be eating an apple and riding the bike or going for a swim. I know that after that, I’ll be energetic and productive and, most important, not hungry for the rest of the evening. And yet knowing that, I still sit with said ass on said couch and wonder why I’m not crossing the hall to that awaiting bike.

I know, by now you’re hoping I’m going to give you a huge secret here – the answer for how to find hidden motivation within yourself. Well, sorry, if there is an answer when you’re in this state, I don’t know what it is. I just know that most days I don’t let myself go to bed until I’ve been to the gym. Sometimes, I only ride the bike for ten minutes. Sometimes it’s at 10:00 at night. But at least I got there and moved a little. And I have to say, a lot of times once I’m at the gym, ten minutes turns into twenty or thirty – but not always.

And I think it’s really important to say that if feeling bad is bringing you down, and you can’t get yourself moving, please talk to someone. There are lots of people (doctors, psychologists, help-lines, friends) that can help you in lots of ways. Sometimes it’s just meeting someone for a walk and sometimes it might be a visit to your doctor. But ask. Part of the stop lying is not lying about being able to do everything alone. So call a friend and meet them at the gym, I’m going to go and watch some trash TV while I’m on the elliptical – now that will make me feel better.

Arlene says:
Now add having a cold to the lack of motivation and man is it hard to stop the lying, the “I feel lousy so I’ll have comfort food.” But you don’t feel better, now it’s that all over achey feeling and guilt, yuck. This time I tried to have my favourite fruits readily available, so to hell with winter prices I had prepped strawberries, pineapple and blackberries ready. I limited the toast to one and had some pretty fruit and felt better.

It also matters what I’m reading. Even though I like mysteries I find that if I’m stressed I need to read more positive, optimistic stories. I need to be around stories of hope, challenge and creativity not death and murder. Watching Sir Ken Robinson on YouTube helps too. Turn to anyone who helps you stay genuine and Stop Lying.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Deborah says:
Finally – a holiday that doesn’t involve an overloaded buffet table, with your great aunt Blanche bringing her 5000 calorie baked yams covered in marshmallows and caramelized sugar, with candied pecans.

St Patrick’s Day is a drinking holiday. Green beer! No calories in beverages, right? And no calories in the wings and burgers and fries you eat after you’ve had three or four beers, right?
Intentions, people, intentions. There are a couple of problems here, though. My intentions when I go to the bar are to have a glass of wine, a burger and a salad. I make it fit in my day, I may be high in my fat grams, but I also make sure I swim it off the next day (figuratively, not literally). The problem? Well, that one glass of wine turns into two glasses, and by the time I have two glasses of wine (I’m a cheap drunk) I’m ordering anything deep fried. That problem is that takes my caloric intake (Weight Watcher points in my universe) from about 30 for that meal to almost 60 by the time I’m done (or higher if I then switch to Cosmos). Not only have I ingested 100% more calories and fat than I intended, but (for me) I’ve awoken that part of my brain again too – and for me, that’s the killer. It’s why I don’t eat potato chips. It’s because after I eat them (or yummy salty deep fried food) I think about them. A lot. And I try and rationalize how to fit them into my regular diet, and that it’s okay to cheat once in a while, and that it’s really about the 80/20 rule, right? (which soon becomes the 50/50 rule or worse). My body doesn’t betray me, I know I can eventually burn things off and lose weight but my brain will betray me.
So what do you do? Not go out? Hell no! You have to have fun – you’re trying to get a life back, not sit at home like a skinny nun. But you have to make a plan. My plan this year, knowing my behavior, is to go in and order dinner when I order my first drink. I’ll ask them to hold it if we’re going to be sitting for a while, but at least I’m making my decision before the wine clouds my judgment (I don’t drink beer by the way – even when it’s green). And if I sneak a fry or two off someone’s plate, way less damage than an entire side of fries on mine.

The real secret? Insight. Be honest with yourself about how you behave in these kind of situations. After that, it’s much easier to Stop Lying, make a plan that works for you and stick to it.

So what are you going to do for St. Patrick’s Day? Or even the next time you’re just out at the pub with some friends?

Arlene says:
I love St. Patrick’s Day. I hope to go to a bar that is playing Celtic music and the crowd is lively and everyone’s friendly. I wear my highly appropriate head band with the four leaf clovers on springs and fit right in.

Our usual approach to keep us safe from overeating bar food is to have supper at home first. When St. Patty’s is a week night that is easier. We have a quick stir fry at home and then head off with happy tummies and plan to limit to two Kilkenny’s or Guinness because it is a work day tomorrow. This year it’s a Saturday?! Perfect for the … let’s get there early, grab a good table, and order nachos or wings … then the boxty perhaps or the puff pastry topped irish stew or the burger and fries…. Hmmm, could be a problem.

My plan, yep I have to have a plan, is to be the driver, so max two beers again and that’s assuming we are there for four hours (okay I know that’s true). I make sure I order water after each beer and nurse that. No pop, if I don’t drink I order ginger ale, but if I’m drinking I don’t want the extra sugar from pop, so good ole H2O it is. My sweetie isn’t an appy guy, I’m usually the culprit so we will order one appy to share and it will likely be a slightly healthy veggie dip or perhaps a calamari (as long as it isn’t deep fried). We will nurse that a while and then order making sure the sides are vegetables, salad or soup – no fries. The final part of the plan, to keep the focus on fun and music rather than food and drink, is to dance! The best thing about Irish music is you can do anything to it! You don’t even need beer to do River Dancing. So go out, have fun and make a great plan!

I know this much is true.

Deborah says:
Here’s what I know about myself. I know that my eating/exercise/fat habits are well ingrained in my brain. It’s how I lived a solid 25 years, give or take, of my life. No matter how good a day I have or how much weight I lose, those habits are there, waiting to assert their authority again.

Some people say I’m tough on myself. It might appear that way, but I don’t know if it’s really tough, I think it’s more like being vigilant, not tough. I have worked really hard to stop lying to myself, gaining insight into the behaviours that made me unhealthy. And then I worked even harder to break those habits and develop new ones. But the truth is I’m only just four years into this new lifestyle – that’s a brand new baby habit that can’t stand up to the 25 year old granddaddy lurking inside me. I know I’m one box of Kraft Dinner away from the old me. Every morning when I get up I make a decision as to who I am going to be. And then I spend the day trying to live up to that decision.

What’s interesting is the people who say I’m hard on myself don’t see the times I don’t live up to those intentions. Like the milk chocolate covered macadamia nut in the lunchroom a few days ago. And for me, it’s not that that one chocolate did a huge amount of caloric damage – it’s that I spend the entire day thinking about it, planning more excuses to go into the lunch room, more ways I can work it off later. That’s the hard part for me, putting those thoughts back to bed once I’ve allowed them out for a minute. And that’s why I ate even better the rest of the day.

Reinforce the new, not the old. It really is okay to make mistakes. I make them all the time. And I don’t punish myself or blame myself or get into that big guilt circle – I try and learn from it. I try and figure out what got me there and how to avoid it again. But mostly, I don’t let one mistake become my entire day. I get back to my intentions immediately, and tuck those sneaky old habits back into the closet as quickly as I can, before they take over.

Arlene says:
I know this much is true… it is where you put your attention. When those brain patterns develop they include habits of focus. We spend entire days thinking about the “problem” food or our decision to eat the problem food. Retraining the brain is about practicing a new focus. Recognizing what our focus is, REWARDING ourselves for noticing not blaming ourselves for still having this problem. Of course you will notice the chocolate, of course it will seem desirable, it is the next choice that doesn’t have to be “of course.” The next step can be … Excellent! I notice I am thinking about the chocolate and I want to do this differently so what can I do to redirect my attention? Then we practice, practice, practice that redirect.

Shake it up a bit!

Deborah says:
Since I’ve started my weight loss journey, I’ve sort of started treating myself like an addict. I find a lot of my behaviours around certain foods are totally like Arlene describes addictive behaviour in our book. For me, my ultimate hit is POTATO CHIPS. See – a non-addict wouldn’t have used all caps! LOL

Seriously, that’s why I don’t bring chips into my house. They are a food I literally cannot control myself around. For example, after our book launch, the leftover chips somehow wound up in one of my bags and the following day, at 11:00 at night, after I’d gone to bed and thought about them being in my cupboard, I went down and got some. The next day they went down the garburator.

I also find that if I’m not careful my brain, my subconscious - whatever it is that controls all this stuff - tries to replace chips. For example, crackers snuck in. Don't get me wrong - I bought healthy crackers, low fat, lots of grains, but let’s face it – you can eat enough of anything healthy to turn it into a problem. So the crackers I bought for my occasional brothy soup became a nightly ritual while I was making dinner. My weight loss slowed down, my butter consumption went up. I realized I was trying to replace whatever it was I got from chips (fat? crunch? saltiness?) with these crackers. So I banned the crackers from living in my pantry – though I will buy them for a special meal/occasion – one box at a time – no matter how many the sale price suggests I should buy. Seriously, just because it says three for $5.00 doesn’t mean they won’t sell me one!

When I banished the crackers, I found myself heading in another direction that wasn’t where I wanted to go either. I just wish once I would use celery as a replacement for something I was trying not to eat!

Being vigilant is hard, it’s a non-stop 24/7 job. One of the things I always do to stay vigilant about is my journal. But here’s an interesting question. When was the last time you re-read your food journals? It’s good to use them daily, to keep you aware of what’s going in your mouth, but you can follow trends in them too. Go back, read a couple of months and see if there’s something you’re gravitating to, a food group you might be missing or avoiding, or a snack that’s possibly not on your intentions list. This is especially helpful if your weight loss has slowed or plateaued. I do the same thing with my exercise – I have a calendar by my scale where I record if I walk or swim or gym or sit on my butt (represented by a BIG blank square on said calendar). But when I’m standing on a scale that isn’t showing me the number I want to see, I can quickly figure out why.

Do you ever re-read your journals? What’s the best lesson you’ve ever learned from it?

Arlene says:
Ahhh celery, it just doesn’t seem to tickle the brain like other foods; which is really too bad.

I’m struggling with Christmas leftovers. We had folks over and I defrosted the Christmas goodies. Now I have shortbread, butter tarts, fudge and squares available … again. I hate to throw goodies out, but it’s back to that wasting food in the garbage or wasting food in my stomach. If they stay defrosted then I keep justifying why it is okay to have one after lunch or with supper. Unless I pick up the activity, which is unlikely right now, I cannot afford to eat this stuff. So as Deborah said, let’s shake it up, I have to shake up that old, unhealthy belief that all food is sacred and should not be wasted – sugar is not sacred!

Early to bed ... ?

Deborah says:
So I just finished dinner, cleaned everything up and had an entire night at home alone without anything to do. So exciting. I could finally watch a movie I’ve taped, or catch up on some recreational reading, or play Scrabble on my iPad. So I made a cup of tea, sat down, chose a movie and started watching it. About five minutes later I’m looking towards the kitchen and thinking about munchies. After all, I had a few calories left for the day.
Actual conversation from my head:
Pay attention to the movie.
Popcorn??
You’ve wanted to see this one for ages.
Rice krispies with peanut butter?
You love George Clooney.
Apple dipped in no fat caramel sauce?
You just had dinner.
It’s fun to munch when watching a movie.
You’re not hungry.
I know but …
Oh for God’s sake!

Click!! Thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk. Slam!

Sometimes you just have to go to bed!

No matter how good your intentions or your plan, no matter how strong your will or determination – sometimes you just have to go to bed – even if it’s only 6:45 p.m.

Arlene says:
Those behaviour chains are the worse. That collection of behaviours that fire together so often (popcorn/movie, bar with friends/beer & nachos, bar with football buddies/wings, anything to do with curling/beer) that when we do one the other automatically comes to mind. It is automatic, we have created that link. My most successful approach so far has been to plan what I will do instead of the usual or to set a very clear limit on the usual. Take wings for example, very easy to lose count; however, if you keep the bones on your own plate, rather than tossing them into the communal pile, you get excellent feedback about your intake. Another option is to order the veggie plate, donate the dip to the hot wing folk, and stay focused on your carrots. Not the same but at least you have something to do with your hands around all those carnivores.

First step, notice your behaviour chains. Second step, plan a strategy before the situation occurs. Last step, do it.

'tis the season

Deborah says:
Fat Tuesday is over (did you eat your pancakes?). Fat Tuesday is aso known as Shrove Tuesday - and here's some trivia for you - did you know that's what Mardi Gras means? Fat Tuesday. But don't worry - it's not about being fat, it's about eating fat. It's about your last night of eating richer, fatty foods before you give them up for Lent. For the peasant types - it was about eating the food that wouldn't keep for 40 days (pancakes = eggs and milk).

I'm curious - are you giving up anything for Lent? I had a conversation with a girlfriend last night about giving things up and why. Neither of us is overly religious, so it's not about honouring that for us. It's about striving to be better. So do you give up chocolate because it sounds like a big loss - or do you search inside and give up something that is more meaningful to you, personally? A behaviour that you're not happy with? A food that is becoming a coping mechanism rather than a fuel.

I've never given up anything for Lent before - but this year I've decided to give up peanut butter. But I'm going to do it in the Stop Lying fashion - peanut butter is becoming more than a healthy fuel for me, so I'm giving it up totally for 40 days, but I'm not going to rush to eat it on Easter Sunday. Peanut butter and I are breaking up. It is only going to be something that visits me occasionally after that, as I explore other healthy, lean proteins.

So what are you giving up, but most importantly, why?

Arlene says:
Wow, I was surprised at how strong my reaction was to the idea of giving up a specific food for 40 days. I don’t want to give up the occasional cookie with my afternoon tea. I don’t want to give up the piece of chocolate I allow myself most evenings. Do I think those are dangerous behaviours for me? No. I think dangerous behaviours are the ones that keep expanding. The behaviours that spread into your life but you work hard not to notice. Not exercising in the evenings has spread in my life. I don’t stretch or do yoga anywhere near as much. My promise for the next 40 days, at least one night on the bike, no excuses.

It doesn't matter ...

Deborah says:
A friend of mine went to a wedding recently. She’s also working on stopping lying and is doing a really good job and creating some really great new lifestyle behaviours for herself. She was invited to stand up for a friend of hers. Now we all know that weddings have nothing to do with getting married, but are really just a three or four day excuse for eating bad hotel food, right?

So this friend planned out her day carefully, picked what she thought was the healthiest option possible off the menu choices for the wedding banquet and scoured the hotel website menu, trying to figure out how many calories this feast was going to cost her.
First came the rehearsal dinner. That’s what it was called. Unfortunately, the dinner was a buffet of cheeses, crackers, potato chips and other snacks she was trying to divorce herself from. She was strong, made the choice to just have some cheese, even though she was starving, and eventually went home and had dinner! And that was even despite that fact that someone’s mother came up to her and said, “Eat, it’s a special occasion! You know calories don’t count on special occasions.”
The day of the wedding, she was up early, had a healthy breakfast, and packed some snacks. It was scheduled to be a long morning getting ready and doing all that girlfriend stuff and she wanted to be prepared. They survived the day, survived the ceremony and finally got to the banquet. My friend was strong. All through the banquet, she was figuring out portion sizes and using an ap on her phone to count calories and keep track (without being noticed, of course, otherwise that would be rude). Another person’s mother asked her what she was doing, and my friend explained she was watching her weight and it was important for her to journal what she was eating. Again, this well meaning mother said, “Just take the day off from counting. What will it hurt, one day?”

I tell you, it hurts a lot. People just don’t understand how hard it is to lay down new behavioral patterns and how easy (and inviting) it is to go back to the old ones! This is what my friend needed to do that day and she did it and I say Bravo, Lucie. I read a blog by a physician that suggested everyone should go on a diet for a month – a restrictive, calorie reduced, give up your favourite things diet, and see how hard the behaviours actually are. The time you have a bad day, are you going to crave your comfort food and then what happens when you realize you can’t have it? Do you have another coping mechanism in place?

The other day I was scheduled to go out with one of my friends for dinner and a movie. She called me early in the day and asked where I wanted to go for dinner. I said it didn’t matter. And do you know what she said? She said, “I wanted us to choose early so you would have time to go online and decide what you wanted to eat.” I love my friend Ramona.

As I matter of fact, I love anyone who doesn’t question my behaviour, suggest I take a day off or cheat. And after four years of trying to explain what I need to do to maintain this lifestyle, my friends have all become huge enablers of my GOOD behaviours. We book ahead so I can figure out my gym/exercise for the day, we pre-pick restaurants so I can check the menus, and we try and do as many active things as we do sedentary. Because it really does matter!

Arlene says:
The folk that encourage you to take the day off are too much like the voice in my head that says the same thing. I have to hear that voice, but I don’t have to follow its advice. I really liked Yoni Freedhoff’s blog in January that described his struggle to exercise one day and that he had to really push through to go, that he didn’t feel fabulous once he had (sometimes you don’t), but that if he let himself skip it for no good reason it would get easier and easier to skip it. We are amazing rationalizers, “not today it’s a wedding/Christmas/birthday”, there is no day off from a healthy life. My cardiac risk isn’t taking a day off, my brain patterns aren’t taking a day off. Rationalizations are lies you tell yourself and we have to catch them to stop them.

Happy Valentine's Day

Deborah says:
Okay, back to the caveman days. I understand how feasts were important celebrations because in those days it was literally feast or famine. I understand how in the middle ages it was about proving that you had more than everybody else. But I don’t understand why now, in this day and age, every single celebration has to include a table laden with more food than is needed to feed an army?

I mean, we just survived Christmas and now comes the worst – a fake holiday – a Hallmark holiday – a chocolate filled holiday: Valentine’s Day. Not only are we going to be taken out for some sort of romantic dinner at a high fat … I mean over priced … I mean lovely restaurant, but we’re going to be given a 15,000 calorie box of chocolates to eat afterward. And this proves you love me???
Okay, back to the basics. Food is fuel. Love is an emotion. There is no correlation between loving me and feeding me. As a matter of fact, in my new life giving me chocolate is more a sign of dislike! (LOL)

But seriously, when I think back to other holidays, like Christmas, I don’t really remember any of the meals. I remember my grandpa playing drums on mom’s pots. I remember playing Stockticker with my dad, I remember getting the Partridge Family record album (don't judge) I really wanted and playing it all day long. I remember when our Australian friend celebrated Christmas with us. I remember building snowmen in Victoria when it hardly ever snowed, I remember snowball fights and beach trips and visitors and games and even a dress I got one year – but I don’t remember a single turkey, cranberry sauce or mashed potato.
As to Valentine’s day, well my theory is that I don’t want my partner to tell me once a year they love me, I want them to tell me that every single day. Or skip February 14 and tell me the other 364 days. But giving me a box of chocolates will not prove that anyone loves me. It’s really important to this journey that we find the true meaning of any holiday in our own minds and hearts, and celebrate it that way. I’d like to celebrate Valentine’s day on my sofa, watching a movie with my sweetie, and maybe a bowl of popcorn after supper. To me, that would mean more than any box of chocolates, the fact that someone really wants to spend time with me.

Happy Valentine’s day everyone!

Arlene says:
Ahh Valentines. Did I mention my sweetie and I are celebrating our 28th year together? Freaky! We aren’t big Valentine’s folk, it is tough to go out for a meal that for some strange reason is costing us twice as much on this date versus last week. One of my favourites is to do the pre-made dinner thing. Sunterra does a fabulous job of putting together a wonderful meal, which I can pick up and take home and enjoy with wine at cost. We can make the portion sizes what we want, skip the sauces if we don’t want them and skip the dessert for something way more fun (I meant the hockey game). Making the meal together can be a treat and if we know one thing about women, foreplay has a lot less to do with the bedroom and way more to do with being together before you get there!

How's it feel?

Deborah says:
I was having this internal conversation with myself today, wondering if I were famous and a reporter asked me how my life had changed since I lost all this weight, what I would say.

There’s the obvious answers: cool clothes, dating, lots of new activities, walking everywhere, did I mention dating? But I think the biggest change for me has been the chopping. Seriously. Of course I’m writing this after I just spent three hours in the kitchen chopping!


I try and keep a few hours free on a Sunday to prepare for the week ahead. I usually make a large dinner so that I can put at least six meals in the freezer with the leftovers. Today I made a zucchini/quinoa “lasagna” that will give me nine servings but involved making a veggie marinara sauce, cooking the quinoa filling and slicing six zucchinis into lasagna noodle-like slices. While I was doing that, I washed grapes and divvied them up into little bags for lunch time servings. I did the same for carrots, celery, broccoli and cherry tomatoes – again for lunches this coming week. I chopped walnuts and premade my breakfasts which is oatmeal this week (oats, chopped walnuts, flax, honey, craisins) and I packed up milk for the oatmeal as well. I also chopped three apples and three Asian pears and divided them up into little baggies. So now I’m set for the week.
I feel like a girlscout, but be prepared seems to be my new motto. In my freezer I have frozen blackberries (on sale, bought a bunch!) for smoothies. I have two dozen super healthy muffins ready to be taken out and put in my lunch bag. I have frozen bananas that were past their prime – some whole for baking and some chopped up for smoothies (thanks Heather – great hint). I have pomegranate, pumpkin and shredded zucchini in two cup baggies. I have tomato paste in tablespoon sized bits. Everything is ready. And most of it had to be chopped.

If I let my hunger overtake me, my blood sugar get low, or my emotions rule my appetite, I need to have healthy things ready to go. So the best buys I’ve made in the past year? A set of good knives, a new cutting board and a comfy pair of Birkenstocks to wear in the kitchen while I’m standing and chopping on a Sunday afternoon.

I guess I'm never going to make the front page with a story as boring as that, huh? : )


Arlene says:
How has my life changed? It’s interesting, but I don’t think about food less. I remember craving food and feeling guilty about choices in the past. Now I think about food with far less guilt. Like Deborah, my thinking is more about the planning aspect now; especially when preparing for risky situations like food provided during a meeting. I don’t need to eat then, it’s extra, over and above the planned meals for the day and somehow infinitely more desirable than the apple in my office. At this point my plan involves giving myself permission if there is something remotely healthy and then making sure it is only one extra thing. I do Implementation Intentions if there are cookies (not remotely healthy), which usually involve having the apple immediately after the meeting or going to get it. Some choices are definitely getting easier, but it is still work everyday.

The only thing to fear is fear itself ...

Deborah says:
FDR said that in 1933 and it’s still pretty topical. See, I’m not scared of anything really. Well except mice – and that’s a whole other story – go to @DebNicAuthor if you want to find out who wins, me or the mouse.

But other than that – I know no fear. I love change, new situations, new learning opportunities. Except when it comes to my routine. Then I fear change. Routine saves me. Remember, I said routine, not rut. I know I have my elliptical trainer, my yoga mat and some weights in my Condo and I have a gym across the hall. I know I have a pool a 1.6 kilometre walk away. I know if I’m busy at night, I can get up, walk to the pool, swim for 45 minutes, walk to work and have all my working out done for the day.

I know I have healthy food in my home and pantry, so that if I’m having some sort of crazy snack/hunger attack and I decide to eat – even my bad snacks aren’t going to be so bad. I know I’ve usually got about 30 healthy frozen dinners in my freezer, along with individual pre-marinated chicken, beef and pork (pre-marinated by me so I know what’s in it). I know I’ve got packages of frozen veggies, steamed rice, so I can have dinner ready in well under 30 minutes. I know I’ve got healthy canned goods and usually a sweet potato, spaghetti squash and a few other fresh vegetables floating around.

I know that no matter what comes my way – I’m ready and I can face it. And then I have to go away!!! F – E – A – R.

Yeah, there goes my routine, my pre-planning and sometimes even my good intentions (usually halfway through the second margarita). So do I decide to never go on vacation again? Don’t think so – I have this healthy new body that actually fits in an airline seat now – I’d like to use it. So I just do the best I can. Again, so much of this is insight.

For me, I know that I can’t just let it all go for a week or two – I know that in two weeks I can do a major amount of damage to my good intentions, and then it’s so hard to get back on those new/healthy/exercise brain pathways I’ve put down. So I try and stick to my plan as closely as I can. I find breakfast easy – you can get eggs or oatmeal or yogurt almost anywhere. Add some veggies (huevos rancheros anyone) or fresh fruit in the yogurt and you’re good to go. And I try and remember things like granola in any language means roasted in butter.

For lunch, I try and stick to what I would have at home as well, lots of veggies, salad, dressing on the side or at least light. Even if there’s sandwiches, have it open faced and get rid of half the bread.
Dinner can be a little harder – lots of sauces and things. But if I stick to lots of vegetables with that fish with Bernaise sauce, I’m still not doing too badly.

I always carry snacks with me – steal some cheese and fruit off that breakfast buffet – and I try and avoid the dessert tables. For me, I’d rather have an extra tropical alcoholic adventure than a so-so chocolatey dessert. It is your choice, but you have to remember you can’t have it all.

I also factor in exercise. Go for a run or brisk walk on the beach in the morning. Actually swim some laps in the pool before you belly up to the bar, horseback ride, play tennis, snorkel. There’s so much to do in these great resorts that you have no excuse not to be active every day. When I’m in a big city (ah Paris) I walk everywhere. No taxis. If I can put 15 kilometres on my feet every day, I can fit in a pastry or two.

And then I come home, I get on the scale, I assess the good and the bad and I get back into my routine IMMEDIATELY. If I want to reminisce, I look at pictures, I don’t make Bernaise sauce.

The most important thing to remember is that if you don't stick to your plan - don't hate! I try really hard to stick to it, and get better and better every time. But behavioural changes are slow, steady and require a lot of repetition. I swear that every year I gain ten pounds before I start losing again. Don't give up, get back on the horse right away and don't be so hard on yourself.

Happy holidays!

Arlene says:
I’m just back from the Mexican holiday; safe and sound and only 3lbs heavier. Pretty good for me considering the sudden addition of daily drinks like pina coladas. I managed to avoid the desserts and if there was a second plate at the buffet it was always salad. I found the biggest challenge the activity level. The warmth and sun seem to encourage slow and easy walks and simply sitting and reading is so seductive. In the past I have gained 5lbs a holiday so I’m not unhappy with this result. Next time I will do better again, because I know for me it is the activity link. So my plan is to add pool time and see if that helps. Making change is always about small steps and then building on them. No beating myself up. Plus, now I’m back I’m walking every day and enjoying the sense of energy.

Will I Ever Learn???

Deb Says:
So today is Saturday and even though it’s the weekend, I’m a fairly busy person and I usually have a bit of a plan or routine for the day. For example, today my schedule was up at 6:30, work on the blog, have breakfast, go for an hour’s swim, go to the rehearsal for my children’s play, get groceries, tidy up the house a bit, and then meet a friend for dinner later. If I had time, I was going to try and fit in a little walk, as well. But the rehearsal got cancelled. Suddenly my day was free. So I slept in until 7:45, which for me is an incredible rarity, packed my swim bag, made an omelette, watched a little bit of the news this morning, surfed some blogs for a while and then went swimming. Even remembered my grocery list! I had a good swim, took my time in the shower, got dressed and headed for the grocery store. I got everything on my list and ONLY things on my list (so proud when I do that, as it is my intention) and headed for the checkout. Now, to be honest, I had been getting a little grumbly/hungry for the last couple of aisles. You see, under normal circumstances I never go swimming without a “recovery snack” for when I’m finished. But today, with my routine out the window, my recovery snack was in the fridge at home. I was trying to use distraction while I was still shopping, and it worked, sort of. But once I was at the checkout, and the rows and rows of chocolate bars in their pretty packages were staring back at me, I was in trouble. So what happens? I start talking myself into them.


Oh, Smarties! There’s hardly any chocolate in those at all, there can’t be that many calories. Oh look, an Aero Bar – it’s like filled with air, so there’ll be less chocolate in there than the other bars. A Coffee Crisp – I haven’t had one of those for years. Oh, Kit Kat, I could just break off one finger of it and save the rest for later.

What did I do? I pushed my cart forward, unloaded my groceries, paid for my groceries, took them out to my car. As I was loading my car, I ate one of the bananas I had bought. I kept focusing on the fact that if I had a chocolate bar now, I couldn’t have the “dessert” I wanted for supper tonight (my original plan: while watching Once Upon a Time I would have a small bowl of rice krispies with peanut butter and chocolate sauces drizzles over them – a snack that is moderately healthy and reminds me of a chocolate bar).

As I drove home, I reflected on my win – sticking to my original plan after all that temptation. Was I happy? Was I proud? Hell no!!! I was hungry and had low blood sugar. Nothing was going to help. But slowly, the banana started to work, and as soon as I was home I made a smoothie with fruit, a bit of honey, skim milk and a quarter cup of no fat Greek yogurt and slurped that while I was unpacking the groceries. And finally I started feeling better.

So will I ever learn? Yes, but it’s going to take a while.

Arlene Says:
Honesty. Well I wish that was easier. Why is it that everything worth doing is HARD! In our book we talk a lot about the work needed. It is not easy for anyone. Often it ends up being mirror therapy -- if you spoke to yourself like you do to a friend the ideas and support would be great. You say to your friend: “It has been a tough start to 2012, you had plans and are off track already and that is discouraging. Let’s look at the plans, where could you make it easier for yourself? “ Pretend the mirror is your friend and encourage.